Syracuse is in the Elite Eight. Syracuse is in the Elite Eight. Syracuse is in the Elite Eight.
Typing those words still doesn’t feel real to me, and yet I was definitely at Chuck’s, and Tyler Lydon definitely made that block and Ross Geller middle-fingered the whole state of Washington.
But it still doesn’t make any sense. Here are a bunch of statements that sound just as preposterous right now:
- White people stop talking about “Hamilton.”
- Leonardo DiCaprio gets married.
- Haiti wins Rugby World Cup.
- Twitter officially named the World’s Kindest Social Media Platform.
- Boise, Idaho earns 2026 Olympic Bid.
- Free Safety Susan Sarandon earns 5-year deal with the New Orleans Saints.
- Ted Cruz admits having affairs with three of the four Teletubbies.
- Big Sean legally changes his name to “Little Tony.”
- Miley Cyrus legally changes her name to Hannah Montana.
- “Batman vs. Superman” nominated for 11 Academy Awards.
- France renounces wine and cheese as a cultural staple.
- Mike Tyson performs open-heart surgery on Evander Holyfield, leaves ear in tact.
- “When You Were Young” by the Killers named the national anthem of the United States.
- 2Pac to release post mortem reggae album.
- Quavo, Takeoff and Offset, or “Migos,” run 10 marathons in 10 days.
- Drake retires his own emotions.
- Lil’ Wayne and Birdman hold meeting to end their beef at Camp David.
- Bernie Sanders named CEO of the biggest bank in the world.
- Kanye West goes on Twitter rant about foreign policy.
- NCAA decides to pay the players.
- That album that people liked… turns out it’s not that good.
- Christian Bale to star in gritty reboot of “Thomas the Tank Engine.”
- Roger Goodell donates brain to science to prove he has CTE.
- Jennifer Garner magically transforms into 13-year-old girl.
- United States converts to the metric system.
- George Washington resurrected, supports Donald Trump.